socklord's Blog

Today was alright. Repeating my statement, like I was still in seventh grade. But t wasn't bad. I went fishing, went exploring, and found a treasure. It was fun, and I didn't get a cent. Now I'm drinking beer, and hanging out here, my basement, and on youtube, all at the same time. And for those who know, I'll be movng upstairs soon. That's enough to get my gonads in a-rumble.

So, angry now, am I? Yes. I don't like what I am right now. But I know it takes time, and when has reason ever ruled over emotion? Just deal. Starting to feel some real negative emotions towards my ex. Look, I still love her and all, but I'm not banging her, and she always wants money. I'm gonna have to tell her no. It's not like she ever pays me back either. Her or her worthless ass disabled ( right), toothless boyfriend. Fuck. I'm bout done with that noise. Hate to lose a friend, but this is bullshit.

On a lighter note, I'm not getting my tattoo I wanted, but I think I will buy the new Smile Empty Soul CD. At a store, yes. Hey, if they sell it there, and it cost more, fuck it. I grew up buying tapes and CD's. But maybe I could buy it direct, and not pay the middleman, but pay the band instead? Ha Ha Ha. Wishful thinking. The agent gets, the vendor gets, the website hoster gets.....it doesn't end, it just changes.

Somebody told me the other day I was depressed. Last.....Tuesday? Why lie? Sometimes I think I am, but I have no friends, so nobody could have told me that. I think it sometmes, but I think that's just the hypochrondiac in me. I go to work. That is depressing. But I'm not depressed! I hate my life, and take precious little joy in it, but the joy is there! I'm almost never happy, but I'm not unhappy either! How did I get to justifying my state of being before a epheremal audience that doesn't exist yet? Yeah, I know it's misspelled. I just don't much care.

I don't think I'm that bad of a person. I've got my flaws and problems, but I'm no Jeffrey Dahlmer. Or Charles Manson. I think I'm sane. Impossibly so, maybe, but all the same. I tend to be coherent, when I'm not drunk, and I haven't done any heinous shit to anyone, that was physical. I've done some emotional torture, long years ago, but, I've never met a teenager who wasn't psycho, except for the uninteresting ones. That's a lie. I thought they were interesting, but, we never talked. Oh, how things could have been different.......Ha Ha Ha.